Franklin Countys First News

Words on Words: An exclusive interview with The Year 2010

We're going to start out the new year with an exclusive interview with none other than The Year 2010 herself!

KB: Congratulations and Happy New Year!

The Year 2010: Happy New Year to you Kenny!

KB: So, getting down to brass tacks, the recession has been rather slow to lift in general, and the publishing industry has been going through some major changes due to the economy, the advent of digital media, and the pressures of Department Stores and Online Department Stores devaluing the integrity of books. How is everything going to turn out?

The Year 2010: The very first thing the Advisory Council of Retired Years told me was that every year since ACRY was formed some flash new thing would surface that people would either expect to revolutionize the world in a positive way or else destroy the fabric of human existence. I mean, let's be reasonable, it can't be true that teenagers have been perpetually getting wilder for the last 3,000 years. The last generation can't always have been more moral, and the world can't always be going to pot. It's just human nature to feel that way.

KB: Good point! And how does this tie in to the digital issue? I notice you personally are referring to a small notebook rather than a digital device.

The Year 2010: Absolutely, and that's a safety issue. When you are carrying around crib notes for the coming year, and when you consider that digital media have no real security whatever, either in form or substance, paper records are the way to go, for aesthetic as well as security reasons. And that brings me to your question because I'll share with you that a shocking security breach will occur in 2010 which will wake people up to the dangers of putting their faith in digital medium for anything beyond disposable entertainment.

KB: I knew it!

The Year 2010: Yes and ACRY has asked me to take this opportunity to recognize you for your efforts to warn people regarding the insidious possibilities of digital texts in a world controlled by advertising.

KB: Blush!

The Year 2010: Furthermore, there will be a scandal in the retail industry that will open people's eyes concerning the bottomless greed of certain corporations and their nefarious and undue influence over elements of social and political entities.

KB: Gasp! So what can we expect in terms of big books for 2010. Any surprises?

The Year 2010: I can reveal that a book published in the United Kingdom in 2007 will be a big hit here this year once it's released, while the previously untranslated first novel of a now well established European novelist will bomb after its U.S. release.

KB: Hmmmmn! Are there any hot tips you can share? Who is going to win this year's Pulitzer Prize, anything like that. The Year 2009 shared with us that my Random House Representative Pam Kaufman was going to play a pivotal role in the selection of the 2015 Nobel Prize winner.

The Year 2010: It is true that Pam is one of those people ACRY call IDMs: Inadvertent Decision Makers. In fact this year Pam will make a typo on an inter office email which will start a chain reaction ending up in determining this year's Pulitzer prize in fiction.

KB: Wow! Talk about pressure. I'll have to make sure she doesn't read this. Thanks so much for all this inside information! And thank you for agreeing to do this exclusive interview.

The Year 2010: Not at all. It was a pleasure.

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1 Responses »

  1. Well done! One for The Onion!

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