Learn to lose with dignity

5 mins read

By Sen. Tom Saviello

Tom Saviello
Sen. Tom Saviello (Photo by William Rice)

In the mid 1990s I had the honor of coaching my first Little League baseball team. Many young and inexperienced players made up this team. We were 0-12, losing every game by a lot. After each loss I told the kids to keep smiling, shake hands and learn from the defeat. In essence I was asking them to be dignified losers. At the end of the season the players did not receive a certificate of participation. They certainly did not earn a championship jacket. However we set a goal to be better the next year and the next.

Fast forward four years. The team record was 13-1. After each game I told them to smile, shake hands and learn from their victory. This same 0-12 team won the league championship. The players learned how to play the game. The coach learned how to coach. The team goal to win that championship jacket was fulfilled.

I use this example to reflect on the recent presidential election. Somehow we have lost the ability to lose with dignity. The protests and the cries of “he is not my president” drown out the fact that Mr. Trump is, in fact the president-elect of the United States of America.

Republicans were guilty of the same lack of ability to lose with dignity by continuing to challenge President Obama’s citizenship. Unlike my baseball team, some do not know how to smile, shake hands and learn from defeat.

What can be learned from this election?

1. There is a rural population that has been forgotten. These people are hardworking individuals who live in the “Country.” They voted. In the rural town of New Sharon, Maine, 81 percent of the registered voters cast a ballot as compared to 61 percent in Farmington.

2. Fear is a motivating factor for getting votes. Sadly this was true in this year’s campaign. Unfortunately instead of rejecting this “fear” all candidates built on it.

3. Words can be hurtful but mean little at the ballot box. Please understand I am in no way supporting the words used by either candidate about individuals who are disabled, veterans, or women. This rhetoric is totally unacceptable and inappropriate. However my mother always told me “Stick and stones will break my bones but bad words will never hurt me.”

4. Not everybody can be winner. Today we seem to lose sight that not everyone can be in first place. Not everyone can wear the championship jacket.

What can be learned from the defeat?

1. Smile and shake the winner’s hand. They won today. Tomorrow is another day. Even though there is a loss, act like a winner!

2. Turn your negative energy into a positive. Protesting is a constitutional right, but what does it do for the good of society? Instead volunteer for United Way. Help at a food cupboard. Read to children at the local library. Work at a homeless shelter.

3. Again, learn from the defeat. Not everyone can be a winner.

4. Take time to understand the rural voter and what is important to them.

5. Dig for the truth and do not listen to the 30-second sound bites and the TV “talking heads.” Do your homework.

The Lewiston Sun Journal’s op-ed piece on Nov. 15 quoted Trump’s pledge to “bind the wounds” and “for us to come together as one united people.” The op-ed piece said Clinton made her disappointment clear while also rooting for Trump’s success. Listen and hear these words!

Today, many of you are like my first little league team-defeated and down. But there will be a new game on another day, which can be won, and you too, can have your championship jacket. Learn to lose with dignity.

State Sen. Tom Saviello, (R-Wilton), represents Senate District 17, which includes all of Franklin County and the towns of Belgrade, East Central Franklin, Fayette, Mount Vernon, North Franklin, Vienna, and West Central Franklin.

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46 Comments

  1. It is not losing with dignity, it’s the thought of what kind of person he is and what may happen to this country. Just look at the type of people he wants in his cabinet.

  2. Sen. Saviello, I have always known you to be a man of common sense, regardless of partisanship. However, I am disappointed that you are perpetuating the narrative that politics is a winner vs. loser proposition. I have to say that this attitude is what is harmful about American politics and only continues the problem. Our society needs to aim for political solutions that allow as many people as possible to “win” and not be so concerned with winners and losers. We are setting such a bad example for our future generations. When we say some people are winners and some are losers, we are essentially saying that the needs and beliefs of the losers don’t matter because they didn’t “win” and they should just “suck it up” and succumb to the winner’s wishes (even though the “winners” are actually a minority of Americans this election). Additionally, peaceful protest serves many positive purposes in our world, in addition to the alternatives you suggest. We should all aim to serve our communities, but not at the expense of making the peoples’ needs known through peaceful protest. In a political system where more Americans than ever are disillusioned and believe that politicians don’t understand their needs because the political process doesn’t serve them, peaceful protest may be one of the only tools we have left to get our voices heard.

  3. I guess I grew up in the age were words never hurt you and sticks and stones do.. I remember a lot of hurtful words growing up but never let them get me down.. I continued on and proved a lot of them wrong.

  4. Sorry, Tom, but someone with his track record of grabbing P**Y, and bragging about it,on top of his other slurs and insults, will NEVER be my president. Period.

  5. Very well said Tom, you hit the nail on the head, like Joe the people protesting the strongest have no dignity, as you and many conservative talk show hosts suggest , GET INFORMED !!!!
    Thank-you for your article, well written !!!

  6. We are all like Charlie Brown as we go through life. Someone pulls the figurative football away just as we want to kick it. We end up with a spindly Christmas tree, or no one sends us a Valentine card. Good grief, as Charlie likes to say. But Charlie has his victories as well, and so do we. Just the way life is. We may not by happy with every thing that comes along, such as elections. But we need to make the best of circumstances we can control and be good citizens.
    Merry Christmas everyone.

  7. I find the President-elect morally and ethically repugnant. But it is his and his proposed cabinet members position on the environment, public education, and human rights ( including health care) that I can never support and will fight until the end. I will be part of the resistance.

  8. Lonny, I’m not sure how my comment portrayed that I have no dignity, but I’m sorry that you see so much negativity in this world to make that assumption. What does dignity mean to you?

  9. Tom, I would like to ask where you have seen any dignity in this year’s presidential election? What example from the major campaigns can you point to that will provide us a model for dignity? I dare say there’s not much “dignity” to be found.

  10. While I have always been a fan of Sen. Saviello’s, his piece demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of where progressives are coming from. We who did not vote for the president-elect are not simply angry that we lost, we are scared of the impact of this particular administration will have on the people and the country we love. We are afraid for our civil rights and for the safety of minorities. His cabinet selections have only intensified our fears. So have the enormous rise in hate crimes against minorities and progressive organizations since Trump’s election – over 900 in the last three weeks. Then, of course, there is Trump’s complete lack of understanding of first amendment rights – freedom of the press, freedom of religion, and freedom to peaceably assemble. Perhaps most of all, we are ashamed to find out that Americans no longer believed diplomacy, humility, and respect were baseline values for our highest elected officials.

    Electing the leader of the free world is not like little league baseball. The stakes could not be higher and every day since the election has confirmed that Trump is catastrophically ill-equipped to take on this role. In one weekend he has managed to destabilize the India/Pakistan relationship, which could easily lead to a nuclear war, while also angering our most powerfully trading partner and ally in keeping North Korea in check (China.) Calling those of us who are terrified for the future “sore losers” doesn’t just miss the point, it reveals a shocking misunderstanding of both the role of government and the feelings of many of his constituents.

    And for the record, Senator, protesting got us the civil rights act, ended segregation, and most recently, it rerouted the Dakota Access Pipeline.

  11. Well said Tom, “If liberty and equality, as is thought by some are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best attained when all persons alike share in the government to the utmost.”
    Aristotle (384 BC – 322 BC), Politics

  12. “Republicans were guilty of the same lack of ability to lose with dignity by continuing to challenge President Obama’s citizenship.” And who but Donald Trump himself trumpeted that falsehood wide and far?
    And the GOP thru Mitch McConnell pledged to block President Obama in every way possible and limit him to 1 term. How gracious was that?

  13. I agree that the Republicans have behaved very poorly under President Obama – just look at the fact that there has been an opening on the Supreme Court for months. So now, even after a Republican got enough electoral college votes, are the Republicans going to show some respect to the current President and act on the Supreme Court vacancy? (No.) As for this election, my candidate has lost many times and I have NEVER felt the way I do now. This situation is completely different. I don’t support a guy who brags about grabbing women, has insulted many minorities in this country, and the list goes on. Let’s not forgot, MORE people actually voted for Hillary. I refuse to normalize DT.

  14. “Stick and stones will break my bones but bad words will never hurt me.”

    My mother also taught me “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all.
    Words do matter. Period.

  15. I appreciate and thank you for your comments about sportsmanship. I wish, however, you wouldn’t pit rural town New Sharon and small town Farmington against each other. Perhaps, as our Senator and respected community member, you could play a larger role in building bridges between our communities.

  16. Tom Saviello is the exact type of person we need in public service. He is not a party follower. He takes care of his constitutes first, the state of Maine second and the world third.

    We need more people like Tom in office.

  17. Well said Tom. The moral compass in government today leaves much to be desired on both sides of the aisle. We have lost the meaning of how and what our country was built upon.

  18. I have a lot of respect for Tom Saviello, one of the most civic minded people I have ever met, however, today I’m standing with Tom Hildreth.

  19. Point well-taken Tom. It is looking forward, seeking improvement, and stopping the senseless anticipation of doom. Working with positive endeavors that come with intelligent and informed decision-making tools is suggested. Social media has made fools of many as the fragments of information become gospel; while in truth, it may be utterly useless in its incompleteness.

    What is it with this “fear”? Have we not been subjected to the most secretive administration in history? Do we even know what lurks in the shadows of secrecy that the most ‘White House bound’ President ever created, but with the cloak of darkness shrouding much of it? What are we not told? OUR government, is no longer accountable to its citizens; but then, we let that happen! Congress and the President seem never to meet and we see the results of failure by all involved. Both parties!

    A Congress of House and Senate who seems not to listen to the public (or each other); yet we forget we have a role, one largely abdicated or we engage in trivial complaining. It makes no matter to them that those who elected THEM, were forgotten in the partisan and one-sided political party bias. Washington is broken, perhaps we can all agree on that, if nothing else. No, Tom speaks for the ideal and why is that wrong? We, however, cannot let go of all our bias and demands voiced without engagement; but for after-the-fact reaction.

    Hysteria makes for chaos, and it accomplishes nothing. Like children of yonder years, fear creates the ‘monster under the bed’, and we become so fearful that we simply pull the blanket over our head and want it all to go away.

    We place too much expectation in political party affiliation. We put too much responsibility on those we elect, for we are too often silent, or engage with our breakfast buddies, complaining to ensure our thoughts are known.

    We all need to work with those elected and of both parties to establish an agenda that addresses needs and makes sense. We need to push for fairness, smart and informed decision-making. A disgusting example is the over 2000 page health care bill that the majority of Congress DID NOT READ – shameful!

    Stop passing selfish and useless legislation and fix the existing problems (substance abuse, poverty, health care, jobs, crime, and violence, 21st Century wages, the killing of police officers that in the silence of responsible people is sickening), and get back common sense. We need to cut the $20 trillion debt and stop taxing the less that 50 percent of the public that still pays taxes. We need to take personal responsibility and not ask from others what we choose not to do for ourselves. Party affiliation, it should have no bearing, except it allows hiding behind the banner (like the Wizard of Oz, who from behind the curtain projected something he was not). Some day we will come to the great “aha!” – that what we now do is dysfunctional, and need immediate change to so many harmful and useless actions.

    Like most of you who posted, I am not seeking a debate or grenade in the foxhole, just saying!

  20. Had Hillary Clinton won the election, I think we can all agree that there wouldn’t be mass protests, blocking traffic and causing hate and discontent. We all would have gotten up, shrugged it off, and gone to work like we do every other day of the week. I’m happy with the results, but you can bet I wouldn’t be out there crying to people had Hillary won. It’s life. Deal with it and get on with your life. Don’t you have more important things to do then cry racism in the street? Enough is enough.

  21. I think it is very difficult for most citizens to even consider trusting a person with our hard earned tax dollars to be fair to all when he clearly states his biases. No matter what good Trump may do for this country (retain and return industries, increase agriculture, etc.) he will never bring or receive respect to our good nation.

    Personally, I think you are a very rare breed – an intelligent, hardworking citizen who takes the trust placed in him by the Maine people and does all he can to promote fairness to all despite political affiliation, religious beliefs, cultural differences, etc. We are all the same, just make different choices that lead to different life situations. No one is better than another just different. Thank you for all you do.

  22. It’s a thankless job Tom…
    But Thank You anyways for being non partisan.
    Your record speaks for itself in that regard.

    The record of the partisan ones also tells us not to be surprised by the hysterical selfish short sightedness they display with their hate speech comments.
    They are not interested in anything other than getting their own way…all the time.
    So this is new territory they find themselves floundering around in.
    To them…The Sky Is Falling!

    Honestly…its pathetic.

  23. Hi, Jeff: Personally, I don’t agree that that would have happened, but that’s just my opinion. I think that Mr. Trump had spent a lot of time casting doubt on the legitimacy of the election, and my opinion is that that was done so he could challenge the results if they hadn’t gone his way. That said, I don’t have a crystal ball. Just a prediction based on his previous comments on the topic. Also, there is a LOT of evidence (on Twitter, of course) of his extreme distaste for the electoral college. He was never a fan of the electoral college, until now (his words, not mine).

  24. Evidently, there are a lot of gullible people in the state of Maine. They voted for a man who has close ties with Russia. Even so, despite the fact that my vote lost, I have to get over it. What else can you do? Is a protest going to solve anything? No, it won’t. I wasn’t happy with Clinton, either. But Trump alarms me. Still, what is, is what is. The whole country (gullible as they are, who voted for a communistic leaning individual, a gambler and a womanizer) has decided who will run this country. All I can say, is, “God help us”

  25. Hi Joe.. you mentioned Trumps talking about monitoring the election process.
    Hope is that any different than Stein and all the recounts now. I would say it’s the same thing. And nothing wrong with that.
    But what about how Clinton and get cronies are NOW participating in attempting to contest the results…. After she said she wouldn’t…

    All I can say is… Criticize Trump all you want… But if you support Hillary.. You are a hypocrite.

  26. The election results can be accepted or not. It is what it is.

    So now the losers can whine in denial and accomplish nothing other than drive even more people away from them…
    Or
    They can realize that the way they are now feeling is the same way they have made everyone and anyone who disagreed with on any single issue feel.. Severe intolerance.. They are paying the price.

    People are not all the horrific things you scream at them.
    The more you act crazy… The more people run away.

    Your free choice.
    And like it or not..
    And everyone elses too.

    Get used to it.

  27. I agree with George that Tom Saviello is a “rare breed.” Tom tries to be ethical and balanced, working for the good of our state. His opinion fits with his generous tolerance of opposing ponts of view.
    But people with gay friends, black friends, Jewish friends, Muslim friends, hear the fear in their voices.
    We must make it clear that we want them to be kept safe. What is the best way to do this?

  28. Trump won the office of the President of the United States of America by openly promising to take a wrecking ball to our current system. From what I can see, he is on course to do just that. Why are we talking about dignity?

  29. Hilarious.
    As I recall, before the election, in comments to many, many online news articles, supporters of this con-man who was just elected were threatening civil war if HRC won. White Supremacy now enjoying a renewal in acceptability, apparently… Would that be deserving of respect, of a place at the table as well, since it seems to be “winning”? So many of his supporters were absolutely contrary for the last 8 years, denying the POTUS any agency, driving the nation into an economic ditch and keeping us there, only to maneuver to blame him? Calling the First Family monkeys, denying POTUS was even born in the USA, etc, etc. Do you think that there is no substance, no valid reasons behind a very widespread rejection of an extremely dangerous up-coming administration? On what planet are these folks?

  30. Richard ,
    it is interesting how you make sweeping charges, ( i.e. “most secretive administration in history”), without any foundation in stated evidence. You also suggest the following amazing proposal ” We need to cut the $20 trillion debt and stop taxing the less that 50 percent of the public that still pays taxes” If as you suggest we stop taxing the less than 50 percent of the public that still pays taxes” So your proposal is to eliminate the individual income tax and at the same time reduce the Debt.
    Ok let’s start with the current total federal expenditures of around 3.7 trillion. around 1/2 Trillion of that is borrowing and adding to the federal deficit. Eliminating that borrowing is the first step in reducing the deficit (don’t add more). Next eliminating the personal income tax reduces non borrowing revenues by 47 percent or around 1.3 trillion. Ok so before we begin paying down a penny on the current debt we need to cut 1.8 Trillion just a smidge under half from the Federal budget.
    Let’s get started on that. Oops wait some might say no the great economic boom from cutting the personal income tax will generate economic growth and new non personal income tax revenues (no evidence for this but lets assume it any way) Let’s assume that this generates a dramatic 5% growth rate in other tax revenues (corporate etc.) This means 5 percent more on the other 50 percent of revenues or 2.5 percent net increase on that side. So we only need to cut 47.5 percent of the federal expenditures to get to the starting line of not adding to the debt and eliminating personal income tax (payroll taxes for medicare and FiCA not eliminated).
    Ok 47.5 percent of the federal budget to cut. Well we since we are still collecting FICA and Medicare taxes no cuts there where else can we go. Lets start with all the foreign aid 1 percent, next lets cut all federal education spending (pell grants, grants to states, Title I, etc) 3%, next all science and medical research (NASA, research on alzheimers, cancer etc) 2 percent, transportation infrastruture (highway, airports , bridges, seaports, etc) 2 percent, lets add all federal safety net programs for the power (earned income tax credit, all food stamps called SNAP, Women and infant children programs etc.) 10 percent.
    Ok if we do all of those we are at 21 percent of expenditures less than. halfway to our goal of 47.5 percent. Of course we will have massive unemployment of federal , state and local government employees but maybe the generous private sector will pick up those workers in new jobs. Whoops almost forgot many of the above cuts will eliminate contracts with private sector employers (infrastructure etc) so in fact big layoffs in private sector as well along with ripple affect of no spending by all those families in their local communities driving more layoffs in the private sector. But we’re making progress towards eliminating the personal income tax and deficit spending.
    Now we need to get to the hard choices for the remaining 26.5 percent of cuts to the budget. Lets completely eliminate Medicaid, Child Health insurance program and Obamacare 550 million or nearly 15 percent of the budget. Big jump gets us to 36 percent only 11.5 percent to go and those 89 million Americans covered under these programs can rely on free care through emergency rooms. Of course this will mean massive increases in everyone else’s health insurance through free care cost shifting along with massive layoffs in the health care industry and more unemployment, poverty, etc. etc.
    Ok what’s left in the Federal budget : Defense, Social Security and Medicare. Well Social Security and Medicare are funded from other payroll taxes so we don’t get any savings there (in fact to fulfill the obligations there the payroll taxes will probably have to go up). That leaves defense at 18 Percent of the total budget. if we cut defense spending by two thirds that will just about do it. Of course massive reductions in private sector contracts (Bath Iron works closes etc.) But hey we’re eliminating the personal income tax and the deficit spending right?
    Now with those steps we only now decide on what additional cuts we’ll make to start paying down the debt. If we set a target of paying off the 20 trillion in 20 years we could do that by cutting half of the remaining defense spending (total cuts to defense spending of over 75%).

    As Mencken said there is a simple direct solution to every problem, the wrong one.
    The fact is that American’s today pay the lowest personal income tax rates that we have paid in living memory. It is true that we expect to much from the Federal Government and the Federal Budget can and should be reduced in many areas. At the same time we do not deserve a free ride going forward. Any one promising you elimination of taxes without dramatic and prolonged economic recession is selling you snake oil.

  31. What an incredibly simplistic view of what has really transpired in this particular election. I don’t believe being a ” good sport ” is going to fix what is, inevitably , going to be a might makes right ball game . a foul is a foul . I call ’em the way I see ’em .

  32. Tom Saviello couldn’t be more wrong. “Losing with dignity” goes out the window when our most vulnerable citizens and residents are further marginalized and threatened. Fighting tooth and nail to protect civil rights and common decency are what’s required now.

  33. …because “winning” ( = losing the popular vote by nearly 3 million votes) with dignity, as Trump is NOT showing with his disgraceful tweets, is really overrated? where’s the trite sports analogy there, Tom?

  34. C’mon Bulldog. Post it.
    You posted 2 late comments in a row from a lib..
    Why is it you always give them the last word?

    They are Proving Tom’s point..

    Looky there… All these triggered hysterical liberals doing exactly what got them into the losers bracket in the first place…. Screaming at anyone who doesn’t totally agree with them. While blindly supporting the corrupt Clinton Dem machine. Shame on you.
    People are tied off it and are moving on…
    Scream , accuse and protest all you want..It gets nothing done other than make your friends praise you..
    Whoopee!!

    More true independents are rising up seeking something you refuse to accept..
    The truth.

    Ya got what you deserved.
    Now quit acting like a spoiled brat

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