Letter to the Editor: Justin Crowley-Smilek tried to change his life

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Justin Crowley-Smilek

I have been Justin’s girlfriend for the past year and over this year Justin (Crowley-Smilek) has done everything he could do to change his life for the better. After having been in Afghanistan and Iraq in a combat zone for several years in special operations as a U.S. Army Ranger, Justin was honorably discharged for post traumatic stress disorder.

He came home and struggled daily with civilian life. Since the highly publicized incident at Front Street, Justin had consumed himself in AA, vets group, one-on-one therapy, and holistic treatments. No matter how hard he tried to fight the demons within him ultimately he lost.

The people who were close to him knew Justin as loving, thoughtful, entertaining, funny, and imaginative. I want people to see Justin as a man who served his county and came back broken. We expect our troops to go away and serve our country and do things that we as civilians could not imagine; they are shipped back, given medications and a good luck. Our troops deserve more than to end like this.

I hope this tragic event will shed light on an epidemic. Justin will be missed dearly not only for who he was but for the man he was trying so desperately to be. Please put the attached picture of him to replace the mug shot, the man in the mug shot is not Justin.

Thank you,
Destiny Cook
Farmington

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47 Comments

  1. Destiny – I am so very sorry this horrible thing has happened, and someone you and others cared for deeply has lost his life. Thank you for letting us know a little about Justin. There are many victims in war. The dead are buried, the physically injured are treated, but the wounds that are not visible are too often ignored.

  2. Destiny, I am grieving with your loss. I know my son, Justin, would be proud to read this. Thank you for sharing your life with him. He is finally at peace, after all the horrors he saw fighting overseas. You gave him comfort that he had not known. His life and story will come out, and I pray that all our servicemen get the help they need and that hopefully this tragedy will help others get the help they need; for our country must take care of those who willingly put their lives at risk so that we can live safely. I forgive whoever shot my son, and pray that they too will find their peace. I love you Jusin, Dad.

  3. Justin Crowley was one of the best men I’ve ever had the honor of knowing; not only for his extreme courage and bravery in the armed forces as an Army Ranger but for his thoughtful and caring nature as a civilian, a son, and a friend. He was a man of his word and would do his best to keep a promise. Many lives have been touched by Justin and no one will soon forget his distinct laugh and sense of humor as well as his drive for knowledge and becoming the best at everything he did. Justin had a way of drawing you into whatever it was that he was doing, teaching you has he went along.
    Justin was not a bad person but a man lost in the darkest, saddest, most lonely places that most people will never be able to comprehend. He searched for the light and this is how he found relief. I have to believe this is what he wanted and I just hope he is in a better place now, where he can be free.
    This was a little of what I could put onto paper and I only have the best things to say about Justin Crowley along with some great memories I will never forget him and he will always be missed .

  4. Thank-You Destiny for writing this letter. I didn’t really know Justin, though I know Michael and I did know who Justin was. When I was out around town and saw Justin I always said hello and he would smile and say hello back. I never really got to know him, though I knew he had some big struggles in his life. It makes me sad that people who have experienced trauma; particularly in war, are so misunderstood. I could not do what Justin and all the other members of our military are so willing to do for our freedom. Maybe his wounds weren’t as visible as others but they were just as real and painful. My heart goes out to you and Michael and Lorna as well as the rest of Justin’s family, Ranger too. Please know that there are people out here that don’t just see Justin as the face in the mugshot.

  5. Justin was such a great man he had his faults just like every body else.He tried to get more and more help.Justin saw things whe couldent even imagine in Afasgthan so dont judge him by the past celabrate his life and think about how he made people laugh and made people happy.So yes Justin was a great great man who loved his family and faught for our country.Rest in peace Justin and God bless America. Payten age 11

  6. as a wife of a military member that has severed several tours and is gearing up for another one…. The repercussions of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are far to common….my thoughts are with you…..

  7. In the short time that I knew Justin, I was honored to experience him as he is written about here. Justin was a man of truth, integrity, courage and strength. He had no ill-will towards others and was unashamed and open about the inner struggles he had after returning from years of service. He did not ignore or down-play the difficulties of civilian life and in my limited experience with him, Justin committed 100% to personal growth and self-betterment. The public eye was unfortunately never blessed by the company of Justin and therefore cannot and does not understand the man he truly was. Justin was a victim of his inner-struggle and the demons he faced. He was and will be remembered as an amazing man, a man that I am proud of. All who honor him, in his life and death, fight on, on his behalf. May peace finally find you, Justin. In remembrance of you, your friends and family will always allow you to be the man you were meant to be. You are accepted, loved and seen as your true self, despite the medias portrayal. As missed as you are, I choose to believe that for you, the struggle has ended and you have found the contentment and oneness you always wanted.

    The first night I met Justin, he told me that he was not a bad man, but that he was misunderstood. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to, in small ways, understand you. You were one of the best men I ever knew.

  8. To his family as a Iraq Vet i wish to Honer your son please send me a Message on face book so that i may attend his funeral. i send my deepest Sympathy to you for the loss of a AMERICAN HERO. this was tragic.

  9. thank you for writing this. i do not know the people involved in this tragedy but i am glad to see this perspective represented on the bulldog, where too often we are inundated with judgmental and ignorant comments. i am truly sorry for everyone involved.

  10. Thank you Destiny. This was a tragedy for all involved. Veterans of today’s style of warfare deserve better than a bus ticket to their home of record and a worn out cliche.

  11. Destiny, your letter is extremely well written and your concerns about PTSD are valid. I hope that you use this very tragic incident to help all the Vets who may be experience this disorder. Good luck to you and I’m sorry for your loss.

  12. It is an American shame how we drop these kids back off to fend for themselves. These real American heros deserve better.

  13. Thank you for this alot it really changes your opinion of events and people involved when you know both stories

  14. Our deepest sympathy to you and this young mans family.
    Thank you for sharing this story, a terrible tradegy.
    We also have son in laws that have served in Afghanistan and
    Irag and pray they will be intact phycially and mentally when they return.
    We can only hope that when people share like you have it will send a message
    how much we need to have programs and support in place
    to help young men and women when they return from serving their country.
    I wish it could of been different for him.
    Our family would like to take this time to thank Justin for His service to our
    country and thank you again for sharing His story.
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  15. It’s encouraging to read this article & the comments that follow. People are more complex than a quick recount in the news or a mugshot that can’t capture the soul. Destiny’s article & picture, & the supportive comments that follow, paint a broader picture of Justin that should be shared. God bless his family & friends. And thx to the DailyBulldog for publishing this. Best local news source in town.

  16. Your comments, Destiny, needed to be published. This has been going on for years. From the Korean War, Vietnam and all these wars. Very well written and not as one sided as some of the media stories! Thanks!!
    From one who has known these scarred vets and their torment!

  17. It sickens me that we send young men and women off to war, train them to fight and kill, and fail to protect our soldiers when they come home. The very skills that were taught to Justin in order for him to survive in Afghanistan and Iraq caused him so much damage that it interfered in every aspect of his life. You’re right, our troops deserve a whole lot more than what they are getting now. I am so sorry for your loss, my only hope is that this tragedy will help shed light on the need for more supports for our troops, because they all deserve better than this.

  18. There is a void, and this man was in it. Targetting a physical brain problem has the answers. Falling 35 feet froma helicopter alone is enough to jostle some goods…Real shame, this story is horrible..and cops need more than a gun. I am a veteran who attemoted a neurolgical route. the cure was losing `17 teeth to the pressure and seeing colors again. Mental routes and medications best back off…whatver is defended for the piloiceamns action and false judgememnts are just going to meet the real thing silently, like the lost veteran.

  19. I thank Justin for serving our country…PTSD is terrible…This soldier should have gotten more help from Togus, buit they refused to help him…My prayers go to his family and friends…R.I.P. Justin…

  20. My heartfelt sympathies to all who have been touched by this tragedy. During prayer time this morning at Old South First Congregational Church, our minister talked about Justin’s death, and Destiny’s letter. When Rev. Hoare read Michael’s letter aloud, I am sure that everyone in our congregation felt his pain and grief, and were profoundly touched by his words of forgiveness.

  21. To Justin’s family, friends and loved ones; my heart is broken for you; and I am sorry for your loss. This is such an unspeakable tragedy all the way around. What especially broke my heart was the message from Justin’s Dad- my father signs his emails to me that very same way; Love Dad; and it just broke my heart imagining your grief right now. More needs to be done to support our troops when they come home.

  22. First of all Thank you Justin for serving and protecting us. Second, my deepest condolences to his family and friends for your loss. Destiny, I do not know you but I am glad you put this up in the bulldog as there are too many idiots saying the wrong things in this difficult time for all. I am sorry for your loss and know you will all truly miss him very much. My prayers and thoughts are with you all.

  23. im extremely sorry for your loss. stress can be a son of a bitch and make you do the craziest things youd never imagine.. i dont know much on the story but can “sort of” relate.i know what its like to lose my mind when stress gets to be too much..i lost a good friend last tuesday as he commited suicide for reasons unknown. i find myself doing horrible things. last friday i ran ran from the police in my vehicle drunk…that isnt me.. thinkin straight was not an option…. keep your head up and i apologize they made him look like a criminal instead of making people understand that perhaps he himself was in fact “losing his mind” hope it makes sense….

  24. This was a courageous and painful letter to write, I am sure. The traumas of PTSD are all too often dismissed and our young soldiers are used as chattel in the war machine. No one is the winner in this case, and many of our returning soldiers lives are tragically not as publicized, but ARE changed and harmed forever.
    You are a valued person of this town, thank you for putting another well known face on the tragedy that this was.
    I also knew his parents, and they must be devastated.
    My heart goes out to you all fully.
    Also, I feel terrible for the officer who shot in self defense. As I said, there are no winners here, all are victims of this war.

  25. There are no words worthy enough to extend to you destiny and justins family. The tragedy before us was one that never neeed to happen and it brings light to the many men and woman who fight for our country and come back toa country who dont fight for them, I pray that all of those involved and affected by the loss of this great soldier find peace within themselves and use this lesson to make a difference in our falling country. God Bless Justin…. Forever thankful….

  26. My dad served in WWII, driving a jeep with intelligence from the headquarters to the front lines, with a kill switch beside him, so if it looked like he was about to be captured, he’d blow up the communiques (oh how things have changed, because now we have better communications), and himself. Do that for a few years and see how well you are when you return to a quiet life. You couldn’t touch him when he was sleeping. If you needed t wake him, we were taught, touch his feet, but dont’ get near him. This lasted all his life. And he drank. What I now here people call “self-medication”, probably. He wasn’t a falling down drunk, but the war took it’s toll. My sympathies to Destiny, but to all family of reteurned vets. I hear that there will be no war during the millenia. Will it come in our life time? We’ll have to wait and see.

  27. As the mother of a man who has served three tours in two different war zones and is looking to serve his fourth in a year I salute Justin for his service to this country. Most of us sit in safe houses and know not the horrors of war nor very little about PTSD. This is a awake up call, for there will be many like Justin who will bring their private demons home with them as the conflicts continue. We need words, not weapons……

  28. Destiny,

    Thank you for posting your letter. Without it many, including myself, would known Justin only by what the media reports. I’m sorry to you, Justin’s family and friends for your loss. We need people like Justin & the thousands of service men fighting for our country. Share the memories & God Bless.

  29. It doesn’t matter where you are when you hear of this tragedy, its all too common and something NEEDS to change! Our vets do things that the government PAYS money to train them to do and they do it better than we as civilians ever could. But where the hell is the governments money when it comes to treating these men and women when they come home? Clearly there isn’t enough help being given and its not fair to have training to become a soldier but then be given lack of training on how to become a civilian again. This situation for Justin and all soldiers flat out SUCKS! My heart goes out to his family and friends for their loss and may Justin finally be at peace from suffering. Thank you for your service to your country, may it never go unnoticed.

  30. Destiny, I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for this letter. At some point one can only hope we realize the cost of war is too great and seek peaceful alternatives.

  31. There are some of us who do not know you, Justin, your families, and the officer – – and we are thinking of and praying for each of you now and in days ahead.

    God’s Peace to each of you.

  32. Why is every one reading this you should all just leave these people alone they are probably feeling like crap.

  33. Thank you to everyone who has read, shared and spoken about my letter. This was a tragedy and I do not want another family to have to go through this. So thank you all from the bottom of me heart.

  34. God bless you Justin R.I.P. You were a young man taken to soon. Your loved ones as well as everyone else knows you served your country proudly THANK YOU

  35. I am so sorry for your loss and the pain that Justin’s family must feel on this Thanksgiving Day that they sadly cannot share with their son.

  36. I wont say who I am but I knew Justin well for a couple years during a pretty dark time in both our lives. I dont know how long ago it was now but judging by how old he looks in this picture it must have been almost 10 years ago. Time flys. It took me over 3 years to get my self togeather and that was after I had made a solid vow to do it. Its taken untill now for me to catch up with the life I should have had so I no how hard it is to just come back from that and it sounds like Justin not only got himself togeather but became an army ranger too. Im sorry he never got the chance to settle down in to a halfway normal life and Im sorry I never got a chance to see him outside of what we were back then.

  37. Justin was like no other man ive ever seen. I met him when i was 16 years old and he became my hero ever since. I hope people can see the good that he did and eveything he taught us. RIP justin. You are not forgotten.

  38. Thank you, for your letter, sometimes all we see is the end of a life, when things have become desperate and ugly, undestanding how Justin got there, makes it more palatable. I am greatful for his service, for his sruggle that brngs awarenss, and for you Destiny, who became brave enough to let the world know that love has no bounderies. I wish you and Justins family healing.

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