An open letter to Emergency Room doctors,
First, thank you for being there for my children: on the weekends, on the holidays, in the middle of the night in bad weather.
A few requests that will make our times together go more smoothly:
1. Please know that I am a scared parent. Though you may have already reassured yourself as to my child’s safety, it will take some time for me to calm down from my terror. I am looking for support from you medically, but also emotionally.
2. Please respect my experience with my child. Take what I am telling you into account. It may not fit in to what the studies say about a certain condition, yet studies all have the odd patient result. My child may be that odd patient in this case. I’m the one who has lived with this child; my information should be considered.
3. Please tell me what is going to happen when you leave the room. Are you coming back, or will it be a nurse? Sometimes I have more questions I thought I’d have the chance to ask, only to learn that you were gone. Sometimes I want to give you my heartfelt thanks but didn’t realize I would not be seeing you again!
4. Finally, please don’t give me skeptical looks when I explain what my primary care physician or specialist has directed. If you have an honest medical concern, of course, I want to hear it. But if you don’t, it is just confusing and dispiriting to feel disapproval coming from you. Medicine is far from an exact science. Chances are I’ve already had to discern from many conflicting opinions regarding my children’s health and homecare. I’m doing the best I can.
Thank you for the time and devotion you put into your jobs. We all depend on you.
Ashirah Knapp
Temple
A very nice letter Ashirah! You are right on! As a parent, there is nothing more frustrating than being told (with or without words) that you do not know your child as well as someone meeting them for the first time. And, I also agree with you that it is extremely aggravating and confusing having a doctor/nurse contradicting or suggesting another provider doesn’t know what they are talking about. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, opinions and suggestions.
I agree with the frustrating parts.
I also feel it is fair to point out the complexities of medical actions.
As you point out,,, you feel like your child is unique and so does everyone else. This also brings the point about the complexity involved with the many “unique” patients they see every day. Many are accompanied by an “expert”.
Throw in malpractice lawyers,,,,,
I’m pretty sure the medical folks have saved far more without the emotional stuff thrown in there.
Most doctors I’ve seen do listen but,,, they have to do what they have to do.
Walk a mile in their shoes.
I find ER’s waiting room frustrating. The few times I have been there, with two very young children at the time, I have waited over 3 hours to get in to see a doctor. Children are not patient, especially when they are not well. Is there anything to speed up the process??
Are there any discussions regarding the fact that Farmington could really use an express care?
How many have come to the ER (during the day – obviously nighttime there is just the ED for those that are unable to wait for their PCP office to open the next morning) with the flu recently? This could be a nasal swab that’s done at a local express care vs. mom/dad sitting in the ED for 3+ hours. Same with strep, RSV, ear infection, sprain/strain, conjunctivitis … I’m not a clinician by any means but I strongly believe that if a walk-in clinic is available it would be a win/win situation for all. I’ve traveled to Waterville and Augusta express care and the wait time was minimal.
I am not sure what the letter writer’s expectations were/are or what prompted her letter
It might be helpful to keep in mind that Emergency Rooms are designated as such for a reason which is not to suggest there is any way to delineate when or where a bona fide “medical need” morphs into something of lesser import
My experience with “express care” facilities has been very positive all things considered as filling a community “need”
I remember hearing the advice that you should never get into long conversations with your Doctor because they are thinking on a whole other level trying use their judgement and base of knowledge to help figure out what is going on. The decisions they make can have serious repercussions if they are not positive it is the right one. It makes sense that they are only human and if we try to tell them all of our feelings it becomes a distraction from much needed focus on the symptoms. I’ve learned to understand that about Dr.s and forgive them or at least not take it personally if they lack bedside manners, empathy is not what I seek in the emergency room. I much prefer a focused and high preforming medical professional. That said, I used to be more sensitive but I’ve learned how Dr’s need to think in emergency situation.
Urgent Care or Express Care in our area is a great idea.
Valid points from all. Perhaps it would clarify some if I explained a little further. We have only used the services of the ER after being told to go there by our physician’s office on-call doctor, so I believe our use to be legitimate. Our children each have medical issues that on the surface should be treatable without too much trouble ( asthma for one and repeat lung infection for the other.) However after five years and three specialists, the issues are still causing need for the ER.
Perhaps it is because the issues are not obviously complicated that it is harder to keep my children from being put in a mental box as to cause, treatments, etc.? It is this particular set of circumstances to which I was referring: feeling that I have relevant experience and information that is not being given full consideration because my children’s situations are not uncommon.
I agree, I also value skill over bedside manner! I do feel that there is a certain level of sensitivity, fairly low, that should be met as a matter of competency. A few weeks ago my son had the worst asthma of his life and felt like he might faint from lack of air. He was very scared. The doctor completely missed this and began making jokes when what my son needed to hear first, if only briefly!, was, “I know this is very scary. I can tell that you’re going to be alright, though.”
I want to reiterate that I am grateful for the work these doctors do, and truly mean my letter to be one of respectful constructive feedback.
A parent knows their children better than anyone else and doctors should listen