“Absentee” is an ugly word. It turns other harmless words into nasty epithets.
Absentee landlord. Absentee parent. Absentee owner.
Absentee candidate for governor Paul LePage.
When it comes to verbiage, it doesn’t get much worse.
For a term with the relatively neutral meaning of “not present,” that’s a harsh fate. It’s time absentee was redeemed. Oddly enough, COVID-19 provides the perfect opportunity.
No matter where you stand on the controversies surrounding social distancing and shelter-in-place orders, there’s one thing we can all agree on: There’s nothing better than a local brewery that delivers beer right to your door.
Oops, sorry. I got distracted by the beer-mobile that just pulled into my driveway.
The real thing we can all agree on is that there’s no good reason to risk infecting ourselves or others in the process of performing our civic duty. When primary election day rolls around in July, you don’t want to be inhaling the fumes in your local polling place. Not only could there be coronavirus, mildew and flatulence in the air, you could also get slapped with a lien for unpaid property taxes.
Best to ride out the election from the comfort of home, particularly now that the beer delivery has arrived.
Which brings us back to absentee. Under Maine law, there’s no need to go anywhere near a germy ballot box. Every registered voter in the state is entitled to use an absentee ballot.
Isn’t that a lovely term?
Absentee ballots used to be limited to voters who were sick on election day, were away on important business or were being held hostage by kidnappers. Those limits were tossed out years ago, and absentee voting has grown to include nearly a third of the ballots cast in the last couple of general elections. This year, it’ll probably be much more.
To receive an absentee ballot, all you have to do is contact your municipal clerk and ask. It’ll be mailed to you promptly, after which you can take your time filling it out, so long as you get it back to the clerk before the polls close on election day.
It’s a simple system that’s virtually impervious to any sort of fraud, hacking or other manipulation. So naturally, there are do-gooders who want to mess with it.
Instead of voters opting in by requesting a ballot, progressives want clerks to send absentee ballots to every voter, whether they ask for one or not. This could result in thousands of those documents going astray because the intended recipients have moved, died or overindulged in home-delivered beer. Clever manipulators could exploit that flaw by gathering up the wayward ballots and using them to tip close elections.
Another not-so-bright idea is to conduct the whole process online, with voters downloading an app that allows them to cast a cyber-ballot. As the FiveThirtyEight blog pointed out, “there’s a laundry list of reasons why this technology isn’t ready for prime time.”
First, nearly 20 percent of Americans don’t have a smart phone. Second, over 20 million Americans lack access to decent broadband. Third – and most important – there’s no way to make such a system secure. Some weird dude hunkered down in his parents’ basement could intercept millions of votes from unprotected devices, thereby resulting in his avatar from some zombie-apocalypse game winning the election. (This may have happened in the last presidential race.)
None of these drawbacks apply to absentee ballots. They’re secure from Russian hackers, unavailable to domestic terrorists and safe from contagious viruses.
Get one today. Then spend election day at home waiting for the beer truck.
Unmitigated plug: Those readers who can’t get enough of my wit and wisdom should check out The Maine Sportsman, a magazine devoted to hunting, fishing, ATVing and similar activities. My new column “Outdoors & Other Mistakes” appears there each month, in spite of the fact that I never go outside and know nothing about any of the subjects I’m supposed to be covering. In other words, it’s a lot like this column. Comments on either subject may be emailed to aldiamon@herniahill.net.
The current occupant of the White House and his GOP sycophants in both houses seem to be having the most problem with the mail in absentee ballot that has their knickers all in a twist. Funny about that.
I don’t trust a clerk who may not want the person I vote for. Maybe they will toss it into the trash. Voting should be in person where there are others as witnesses
If you can stand in line at walmart, hannafid, and any other place of shopping there is no reason you can’t stand in line to vote. Bring your own pencil !!!
Jon.. Obviously you do not like the current person in the White House.. Your choice of a word to describe his followers is a bit odd… How would you describe the Dems candidate that is opposing hime.. Does senile or dementia come to mind?? Is that the best that the dems can come up with?
Had to get a ding on Our Governor Paul LePage didn’t you Partisan Al although you finally come out against something liberal as mail in voting.
Any chance that the beer Al likes to talk about and his sometimes blithering logic correlate?
Well,, it’s a free country.
Hey Jon,, you Libs still haven’t landed back on earth since you think Al Gore got screwed. Now “that” was funny to watch.
But no where near as whetstone as the “Meltdown of Queen Hillary”.
It just keeps getting better.
Everything is beautiful.
Voter fraud is the only way Dems can win. Which is why they want mail in votes, on-line votes and no voter ID so bad. BTW they have a track record for manipulating votes and stealing elections.
Take a look around the country at the overwhelming support the current president has. There is no way Biden has the huge crowds. But yet the media wants to pretend failing Joe he has the lead. We all know its BS. They want to spew the the fake polls so when they win by a small percentage as a result of illegal immigrant votes, ballot harvesting and so on, they will say see…we told you Biden was winning!
Because of their tactics we will have to overwhelmingly vote red for now. Across the board, across the country. Not just republicans but true Trump policy supporters. It’s our last glimmer of hope to rid the government of their corruption and power.
BTW when are people besides the victims of the Russian Collusion investigation going to jail? All citizens regardless of party should be outraged by the way top officials have been conducting themselves for the last dozen years or more.
Seek the truth outside MSM.
Abolish the 2 parties!
Tim:
Trump’s approval rating has been consistently in the lower 40% range throughout his term. (RealClearPolitics)
He also lost the popular vote in 2016 by roughly 3 million votes. (Reality)
Here are some other numbers: COVID deaths = 98,000 National Unemployment = 14.7%
I don’t see how numbers like these translate to “overwhelming support” around the country, but hey, I didn’t take math at Trump University either.
.
How could unemployment be lower Luke ? With dem governors across the country keeping healthy people locked down it won’t be going back to the record low it was before China flu hit here. By the way I did see that Trump went golfing for the first time in 3 months. After all it was a holiday yesterday and even the President deserves a day off to get fresh air and some sunlight to meep immune health up. Were you as mad at Obama when he went golfing during a lock down while his “wife” was making a big announcement about how everyone should e staying home ? If dems weren’t hypocrites they would be circus clowns.
Luke. Look it up the 3 million popular votes you talk about were approximately the number of fraudulent votes in California alone, The law suits are underway across the country. For 2016 and 2018. (Reality)
I don’t see how Corona numbers translate to popularity numbers. Covid is a non-factor for Trump. It only sheds more light on the embedded swamp creatures. (Reality)
When I say support for Trump. I’m talking about the staggering number of people showing up for rallies without him even being there. Biden will never get that much support. (Reality)
You know as well as I do that the media polls are nothing but lies. Remember 2016?
The lying MSM will support Biden,.We the patriots will support Trump.
Based on your typical leftest response I would say that you must be a troll.
Trump 2020!
If someone complains if Al has some beers, my question is: Why are u still on this forum?
“If you can stand in line at walmart, hannafid, and any other place of shopping there is no reason you can’t stand in line to vote. Bring your own pencil !!!”. Couldn’t have said it any better Awww!
Well said Tim Storer!
hey frump.,,
My question about the Root Cause of the logic that Al occasionally uses is not a complaint.
It’s a legitimate question asked with no malice.
I like Al,, then I don’t. Ha
Free country.
Now why are you on here with your knickers all bunched up about nunya business?
And the band played,,”WELCOME HOME PAUL” !!
Everything is Beautiful.
Tim,
Voter fraud…you mean the fraud that trumps own committee could not find?
Covid is a non factor…except for the fact that the Trumps admins botched response to the pandemic has cost thousands of American lives and lost him support among many groups?
Support for Trump…are you referencing the clear minority that support him with less then half the country backing him?
Lying MSM….based on your comments I would say you must be a member of the cult that thinks Trump doesn’t lie multiple times a day and Fox news is the source of all truth.
Could you sound anymore like a ignorant right wing sheep? I don’t think so, but thanks for highlight the un truths one must believe in order to be on the Trump train. Sad to see so many uneducated people fall into the trap of supporting the worst President in modern history. Also you should check the definition of reality, I don’t think it means what you think it does!
Headinthesand. You leftist are mean. Everything I said is true and can be verified. Your talking points are all from CNN and NY Times Good job with your projection-ism. Typical of the Hippocratic party.
Who said anything about Fox News. In case you haven’t noticed they are the lying MSM as well. Good Try.
Seek the truth guy. It doesn’t present itself to you on your cell phone everyday. That’s called propaganda (From the dictionary: “information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view”. – In case you wanted to re-define the term.)
You have to go digging to find the truth.
Hows that for a sheep?
Notice I did not use words like “ignorant” or “cult”. Or racists, or bigot, or nazi etc etc. These are terms the left uses when they don’t have a legit argument.
Nice job Tim. Unfortunately it is very difficult for most people like Headinthesand to realize (and then have the ability to admit) that a lot of what they have believed to be true (politically) for their entire lives really isn’t true. You can’t blame them really. We all get pummeled daily with false narratives from the MSM. It starts with the snarky reporters from the NYT, Wash Post, CNN, MSNBC, (yes) Fox News, and then it trickles all the way down to the local news where they parrot the same heavily biased headlines. Actual reporting is now close to non-existent. I was once of the same attitude as Headinthesand and am thankful everyday that I have been able learn what actually is going on out there in the world of politics and the media. I understand the hatred for Trump, but are you really going to vote for Joe Biden???
TRUMP2020
Thanks for the kind words Former Dem for Trump. And I agree. I was also there not too long ago. Not a Dem. or Rep. but an Uniformed.
Well it seems the do nothing seat warmers in congress got themselves in a pickle. They don’t like President Trump for whatever fairy tale logic they use to balance reality against their delusional visions. But, Old sleepy creepy Joe is damaged goods man. Sexual assault case pending, investigations centered on his and Drug addled son, hunter, business dealings and a marked cognitive decline which he exhibits whenever he opens his mouth. This guy is one subpoena away from the same political trash heap where the pant suit queen landed. Clearly this is scaring the liberal sheep and pushing more voters to the GOP.
Watch as President Trump reopens our country. Real Americans now now exactly who is for our country and those opposed. I suspect our own governor will be a political casualty of her own lock down stupidity. This because she was the biased judge and jury on who stayed employed and who got shafted. No bipartisan legislation for our gal, thats too balanced. Lost your job or business, not making any money, going broke? Remember all these clowns in Augusta and the UM colleges, stayed on salary, doing nothing, just sitting home collecting and not giving a rats behind about what happened to you. They got theirs right, no pain. That is after all, the liberal way. Pay them back at the ballot box with feeling. TRUMP, Senate and House 2020.
Tim,
As expected you failed to be able to back up any of the false claims you made and instead of being man enough to admit that you are wrong when it was pointed out that you were spreading false propaganda, you decided to attack me…typical right wing actions.
Facts are hard to stomach for Trump supporters, especially when the directly contradict the false talking points the right and our current potus continue to push.
As far as my use of “ignorant” or “cult”, I use the words in the English language who’s definition fits the situation. If that hurts your feelings there is not much I can do about that.
head,
What did the 2016 Failed Presidential Candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton say to her followers??
When they go low,,we go high…
Or was it when we go high,,they go low?
Or when they go high,,we go low??
Maybe it was when they go low,,we are already there???
Well,,seems her legacy has been forgotten already.
And now we are presented with Joe..
Everything is Beautiful.
100,000 COVID deaths
Trump’s plan to stop this number from growing. Distraction and Snake oil.
What a hoot! A mom’s basement Trumper calling people sheep or creepy! After swallowing Trump’s 21,325th obvious lie! And still believing it! He’s used the “shoot people on 5th ave” since the 70’s to describe suckers he has lined up for a screwing. Baaaa! He doesn’t like or respect you suckers and wouldn’t let you carry his golf bags! Awwww
21,325? List ’em. Sounds made up so…21,235 times the MSM told us he was lying. 21,235 times THEY were proven wrong? I guess it’s a lie but which one lied? And what is a moms basement Trumper? Everyone who voted for Trump lives in their moms basement? Make sense…
H. Clinton lied 675 million times
B. Clinton lied 1.6 trillion times
Obama lies 24 time a day
I can play that game.
I see very few people trying to be truthful and transparent in government. Trump is one. Trump 2020!
Beer delivery! One of the highlights of the pandemic, while the ease of absentee voting is one of the highlights of living in Maine.