Politics & Other Mistakes: Lost in translation

6 mins read
Al Diamon

Here’s an official statement from Republican 2nd District U.S. Rep. Bruce Poliquin’s spokesman, in response to a question from the Lewiston Sun Journal:

“The congressman understands that this topic raises passionate discussion on both sides of the issue. He agrees that all of us should extend compassion and support to every woman in need of care – and always offer help, never condemnation.”

No idea what Poliquin is talking about? Don’t worry, there’s more.

“For nearly 40 years, majorities in Democratic- and Republican-controlled congresses have agreed that federal tax dollars should not be used to fund elective abortions. As a Franco-American Catholic, the congressman agrees.”

That seems clear enough. Except the question wasn’t about funding abortions. It was about Poliquin’s vote for a bill that makes it tougher for individuals to buy or businesses to offer their employees insurance that covers abortions.

Let’s be more direct. The Bangor Daily News asked the congressman if he supported cutting federal funding for Planned Parenthood. Poliquin issued this statement:

“As a single father who raised a son mostly as a single dad after I lost my wife, I know how critical it is for women to receive health care services, especially those mothers caring for children.”

How does his being a single dad have anything to do with women’s health care? The rest of his response is equally opaque:

“In Congress, I’ve voted to increase funding for Federally Qualified Health Centers (FQHC’s) in Maine’s 2nd District, which provide women’s health services. Since Maine’s 2nd District does not have any Planned Parenthood locations, but is home to these FQHC’s, sending funds to these facilities increases access to women’s health care.”

Does this mean Poliquin opposes spending federal money on anything not located in his district? If so, that’s bad news for nuclear waste disposal, Flint, Michigan’s water supply and Trump’s Mexican border wall. A little clarification, please.

“I support our nation’s current laws that prohibit federal funds from being used for elective abortions. To better serve our district, I believe these dollars should go to fund those doctors and health care providers in our district who currently provide care at our FQHC’s.”

That almost sounds reasonable, except no federal money is spent on elective abortions. So Poliquin’s plan to divert those dollars to FQHCs won’t be happening. More meaningless blather.

Abortion isn’t the only issue on which Poliquin refuses to give coherent answers. He refused to comment on Trump’s immigration restrictions aimed at Muslim-majority countries. “The Congressman will not be voting on these executive orders,” his spokesman told the Portland Press Herald. (Oddly, this was just a few days after Poliquin called for the U.S. Senate to repeal its filibuster rule, another matter on which he won’t be voting, but somehow manages to have an opinion.)

When GOP Gov. Paul LePage called on Trump to undo the designation of a national monument east of Baxter State Park, Poliquin took no stand, even though the land is in his district. “My No. 1 priority in Congress is creating and protecting jobs in Maine,” he boldly announced in a written statement.

Poliquin didn’t even have the guts last year to endorse his party’s nominee for president, repeatedly refusing to answer questions about whether he supported Trump. “The Maine media is obsessed with the presidential race,” his campaign spokesman emailed reporters. “Congressman Bruce Poliquin is obsessed with curbing the opioid epidemic, creating jobs, growing the economy and fighting terrorism.”

Fortunately for those who prefer to know where their congress-manikins stand on important issues, a recent invention may help. It employs complex scientific stuff to uncover the true meaning behind politicians’ utterances. One merely feeds the original quote in one end – called “the mouth” – and the decoded version comes out the other end – called “definitely not the mouth.” Here’s the result:

Poliquin on abortion: “I don’t want to discuss this, because I want you to vote for me.”

Poliquin on defunding Planned Parenthood: “I’m taking a pass on this one, because I want you to vote for me.”

Poliquin on immigration restrictions: “Pretty please, just forget this and vote for me.”

Poliquin on the national monument: “Vote for me or I’ll cry.”

And Poliquin on Trump: “Vote for me because I’m a cute little guy.”

Email your unfiltered comments to aldiamon@herniahill.net.

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5 Comments

  1. In this instance, the translation of Diamon’s comments is “I hate all Republicans, you should, too!” That is also the case in all OTHER instances!

    Saying no Federal money given to “Planned Parenthood” ((more like Planned UN-Parenthood!), as they are apparently the largest abortion provider in the country!)) is spent on elective abortions is ridiculous! If you provide abortions, and I give you money, and you spend it all on office expenses, you haven’t spent it on abortion, but the money you WOULD have had to spend on office expenses, now covered by my donation, can NOW be spent on ABORTION! And you can claim, as THEY do, that none of the money I gave you funded elective abortions! Semantics! Parsing! How clever! NOT!!

  2. You hit the nail on the head, Al! And I do so appreciate hearing the same from Captain Planet. We’re on the same page in our opinions about Poliquin.

  3. So, here is the problem. Trump got elected because across the nation people screamed that they have had enough with business as usual in Washington.
    Now, we have a Russia problem and the excuse machine being used by Sessions et al sounds a lot like the same machine used for the last 8 years by the party in power.
    I am not a Trump guy and I actually liked Obama (start the hate comments now) but I have to admit, I always cringed when I saw the excuse machine and lack of direct answers. 45 days into the drain the swamp presidency we are seeing the same machine being used. I guess the National Book of Secrets teaches Presidents to use this machine

    Fine.

    What the article above points out is that Congress, regardless of party, is still a swamp full of rude, dismissive and arrogant politicians. Again, i don’t like Trump as a President BUT why did a nation that elected him send so many incumbents back to the swamp so they can continue with business as usual. Just look at the race for the 2nd district. Two candidates who were not likable and who represented business as usual, received massive funding from outside sources and waged what was nationally reported as the most negative campaign in America. The root cause of this is the insistence of American votes to identify with political parties. We are the only democracy in the world that is so dominated by just two parties.

  4. Money always sinks to the bottom of any swamp, gas bubbles up and usually stinks unless we burn it. Stop throwing in the money; there’ll be less gas bubbling up. Time for some real substance, eh?

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