Paul LePage is jerking you around.
I know, that’s not news. Maine’s Republican governor and vitriol-spewing mutant zucchini spends an inordinate amount of time jerking people around. Just because it’s your turn shouldn’t make you feel special.
Actually, LePage isn’t even singling you out for this particular jerking. You’re just collateral damage. The real jerkees in this case are independent U.S. Sen. Angus King and GOP state Sen. Eric Brakey, his party’s only announced candidate to run against King in 2018. LePage hates King, possibly because he’s rich, was well liked as governor and has a much better mustache than LePage could ever hope to grow. As for Brakey, he’s sometimes a little too independent for the governor’s taste, which is to say he has a functioning nervous system above the neck.
During a radio appearance in July, LePage said national Republican officials had recently asked him to reconsider his decision last May not to run against King, who caucuses with the Democrats. The guv didn’t seem enthusiastic about the idea, saying he “wouldn’t make a very good legislator” (true that) and that he thought committee work “would be boring” (also true). But then he added that he was concerned that Brakey’s campaign had yet to gain traction, so he might be forced by circumstances beyond his control to enter the race, if only to give the GOP a credible standard bearer.
LePage is lying.
I know this because a source close to the governor says so. This source, whose name I can’t reveal except to say it’s Paul LePage himself, made this statement during another radio rant in July: “I just love to sit in my office and make up ways so [newspapers will] write these stupid stories. They are just so stupid, it’s awful. I tell you, the sooner the print press goes away, the better society will be.”
The governor then meandered off to Washington, D.C., where, according to “stupid” reporters at the Maine Sunday Telegram, he spent tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars staying in luxury hotels, eating in fancy restaurants and holding private meetings with undisclosed parties about matters he refuses to share with the people who paid the bill.
Please see above statement about him jerking you around.
But back to the Senate race. LePage might have a shot at winning King’s seat if the stars aligned just right. He’s consistently shown the ability to attract votes from around 40 percent of the electorate, regardless of how much lying and jerking around he does. If the Democrats offered up their usual ineffectual nominoid, they might capture as much as 20 percent of the vote (unless they again choose 2012 practice squad player Cynthia Dill, in which case it’ll be something south of 15 percent). That would leave King and the governor in a virtual tie, with the victor being decided by who could tell the biggest fib.
Still close, but the edge goes to LePage.
Keep in mind that this is all academic, because LePage has no plans to run for the Senate. When his second term ends in January 2019, he’ll slide into a lucrative retirement giving speeches to right-wing think tanks or possibly advising President Trump on how to improve his media relations. That’s what he’s told close friends he plans to do. That’s what his wife wants him to do. That’s what makes the most sense for a guy who’ll be pushing 70 by then and might be on the verge of realizing he’s been a political failure (although, probably not).
Of course, LePage is going to play the will-he-or-won’t-he card for as long as he can because he knows it keeps King awake at night and the news media in a frenzy. The guv doesn’t seem to care that propagating the possibility he’ll run will seriously interfere with Brakey’s ability to raise money. But LePage has never been concerned about the future of the Republican Party, and as he prepares to exit the Blaine House, he’s far more focused on settling scores than with aiding the career of somebody who probably voted with him in excess of 90 percent of the time.
When it comes to jerking people around, it takes a real jerk.
Don’t jerk me around when emailing aldiamon@herniahill.net.
Could you spew more hate? Once upon a time we actually respected our leaders whether we agreed with them or not.
It is not disputed that Maine’s governors are the nation’s lowest paid.
It’s generally assumed that Paul did very well as Marden’s general manager.
Neither the PPH nor Al have any interests in how much it cost him to take the governor’s job. They accuse him spending too heavily while in Washington. That’s what interests them.
The last time I was in the governor’s office I asked him what he thought his time in office had cost him. He took out his calculator and tapped in some figures, coming up with $1,400,000. Since I regard him as a friend and he describes me as such, I’ve neither inclination nor “aptitude” to challenge the figure.
I’m sure Al will have no hesitation in dismissing the calculation as a lie. He is, after all, committed to describing the governor’s motives as purely venal. There’s no pulling back from that.
John, Al is referring to taxpayers’ dollars, not personal income.
I see satire here, I don’t see any hate. I think some people get over-sensitive. After all, Democrat Janet Mills received the satirical treatment in the previous column. Enjoy humor and satire! When one is bothered by it, that suggests the satirist may be hitting close to the truth! It’s been like that since people like Juvenal used satire back in ancient Rome.
Funny how when responded to in a satirical nature many comments just don’t seem to be published. I quit reading Al’s satire, but still love the comments. I just wish the Bulldog would print all of them.
scott erb: that’s enough of your hokey liberal arts pablum, why i never heard of any of your juvenal lit and don’t think your naughty satyr talk belongs in a family paper. everything i need to know i learned from professor frary’s lectures at the community agora. and he had us reciting hexameter until we were horace. as his best and brightest student, i can tell you: “when oft my winged jokes miss their mark and cause upset / p.c. culture is sole to blame for offenses / but when it’s my feelings that hurt from lib’ral teasing / i pray appollo’s arrows swiftly stop the presses” — antinous, probably.
Ditto & ditto…on the boorish blah blah blah espoused recently…and his followship of water carriers…again not inspired to comment on the wasted type space of another Al rant…
Nuff Said
This is my last comment on Al’s opinionated blast at anything or anyone.What a waste of type,if everyone stops reacting,I promise he will go away.He only writes to get your reaction.I doubt he even believes what he writes.
Amazing how low the bulldog will let this guy go while any equivalent rant against liberalism will never be printed.
Dr. Erb, please seek out the definition of satire. The object of this piece, and many other by Al is to attack or ridicule the Governor. Al has done this for years regularly..
Well said Captain Planet.
I would say that since some of the same people keep returning to read Al’s column, they must enjoy his writing. I do.
Captain Planet: CNN doesn’t pretend to be Fair and Balanced, either.