Politics & Other Mistakes: Popular opinion

6 mins read
Al Diamon
Al Diamon

During the recently concluded legislative session, I kept hearing a lot of talk about some guy named Will O. DePeople.

According to Democrats, Republican Gov. Paul LePage was trying to thwart Mr. DePeople by failing to authorize the sale of public-land bonds that had been approved by the voters.

According to the GOP, Democratic legislators showed DePeople no respect when they rejected efforts to put a constitutional amendment to abolish the income tax on the ballot.

According to just about everybody, the Legislature, LePage and former Democratic Gov. John Baldacci rudely ignored Willie O’s wishes when they gutted a law, approved by voters in a 2004 referendum, that would have required the state to pay 55 percent of the cost of local education.

The only time Will O. DePeople was held in any esteem was when he was used by one side of a debate to criticize the other. It was almost as if the politicians didn’t believe Will was a real person, rather than some political columnist’s linguistic construction.

But DePeople is real enough. I interviewed him recently to see how he felt about the impolite treatment he’d received in Augusta. Here’s that conversation, which has been edited for brevity, clarity and fictionalization.

A.D.: What’s your reaction to the way your name was bandied about during the legislative session?

W.O.DeP.: To tell the truth, I was pretty busy, what with trying to make a living and all, so I didn’t pay that much attention. Who won, anyway?

A.D.: I guess you could say the game was suspended due to climatic conditions. There was an atmosphere of extreme incivility.

W.O.DeP.: That’s too bad. I was hoping they’d give us some sensible tax reform, close a few loopholes in the welfare system, make sure our infrastructure and schools are being maintained and improved, and come up with a functioning administration for the county jails. I seem to recall that whoever was running for governor last time promised to do that stuff.

A.D.: Yeah, they made those promises. But you know what that’s worth.

W.O.DeP.: About as much as a Big Mac at a vegan convention. Still, I’ve got to believe these folks will use the months between now and the next session to reflect on their mistakes and find ways to compromise. That’s all I’m really asking.

A.D.: Which seems modest enough. But Gov. LePage has already said he’ll continue to veto every bill that reaches his desk, until legislators agree to … uh, well … I’m actually not too clear as to what they’d have to do to get him to act less like the sort of nutcase who shows up on Homeland Security watch lists. Given the level of animosity between these two branches of government, I don’t see much hope for improvement.

W.O.DeP.: Then maybe it’s time for a fresh approach. You told me legislators ignored the governor and worked out a state budget that included significant compromises on both sides. Couldn’t they use this same method to resolve other conflicts? And if LePage wants to fume on the sidelines, he’s welcome to make himself irrelevant.

A.D.: That idea sounds less like Will O. DePeople and more like your cousin, Will O. DeWisp. Keep in mind that 2016 is an election year. Both parties will be maneuvering for any advantage they can gain at the polls. That’s likely to make them as unreceptive to cooperating with each other as LePage is. What’s more realistic is a stalemate on any issue that’s even remotely controversial, at least until one party gains a solid edge.

W.O.DeP.: In that case, I suppose the only thing I could do would be to throw my support to one side or the other. But I’d have to study up as to which party would be the best to run the state, and I find it difficult to pay attention to all those boring details of public policy. If I’ve got a spare minute, I’d rather hit the beach.

A.D.
: You’re acting like another of your cousins, Will N. Accomplice.

W.O.DeP.: I know. It’s just that the DePeople family has a tendency to want easy-to-understand solutions to complex problems. That’s why a lot of us voted for LePage. He could reduce everything to simple terms. Unfortunately, his solution to legislative reluctance to follow his lead is to sulk.

A.D.: What will you do if the situation at the State House doesn’t improve?

W.O.DeP.: I may end up standing on a street corner taking tips from another of my cousins, Will Workforfood.

Will Readwhatyouhavetosay if you send it to aldiamon@herniahill.net.

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